Newtonmas?

It's Christmas Eve. I went last minute shopping earlier (exchanging, actually) and it seemed like nobody was out. It was odd, downtown--no one there. Then I just felt really pathetic for being out on Christmas Eve, of all things, shopping.

Goddamn consuming Christmas. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT. I hope I get some good presents.

Please let's not forget about this Man. I'm serious.


Or this Man.

I don't care? (Yes I do.)

I've typed out about three different versions of a self-analysis. I didn't like any of them because I sound retarded, moreso than now. But just clear my mind, I'm going to make a list of things to be cleared off my mind. The following are being cleared from my mind, as I have already stated:

2005
This year was the most of a year I've yet lived through. I'm not really sure if I would relive it in its entirety. This year went by in trimesters, if you know what I mean. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And wow, it sucked.

The Fast Paced School Year (Part 1)
Actually, school isn't going by fast enough (yeah it is). I am tired of most of my classes, ie chemistry, history, and I just want it to be over already. Thankfully, chemistry is finito. Unfortunately, blah blah i dont know I just want school to be over. School sucks.

My grandpa died last week. It sucks. May he rest peacefully in heaven.

The Uncertain Future
I don't really know what to expect from tomorrow, let alone next year. I just want some kind of plan, some kind of foresight or something, so I'm not so clueless. I mean, I should feel like I am in control of my life, and I'm not. Mostly because I don't do anything I set myself to do and because sometimes I just can't, not because I have no strength but because I don't have the ability of magic to end bullshit, aaand it sucks.

There has been a lot of drama lately.
The dramatron has attacked. It started out as a bit distant, got closer, got closer even more, and then bam! Smack right in my grill. I'll be completely vague, but damn, does it suck. It's like all of these feelings are in the pit of your stomach and at the last minute after they have all harvested for a long, long time, those feelings just rush out and spew out of every hole in your body. You know what I mean? It sucks.

Hopefully by just writing this, I'll stop dwelling on it and forget about it, at least a little bit.


I'd really like to lie in a pool of self pity for the rest of this year. I mean, it's not so long. I know I won't, but what if I could? I would hope to come out a refreshed Viviana, not a Viviana who is tired of her current outlook on life. After all, my name means lively, full of life. Am I lost in the meaning?

Maybe a Revival? Only better.

I am considering starting up this blogging thing again, but with more success, I hope. Since I don't have a digital camera (until maybe my birthday), I plan to write a lot of words and not post a lot of pictures. These posts will mostly consist of ideas and unclear thoughts I've had throughout my days.

I also might render a composition of funny jokes or short stories for your pleasures, although they will be corny and not very funny at all. The attempt will be sufficient I guess... There is a chance my failure will be funny.

Yes, funny and maybe even unsuccessful and never updated ever again. We'll see! As for now, ABC Channel Gilmore Girls is on!

Sunday Madness

Late April. Early May. Mid May. Late May. WHOO!

Today was sooooooo much fun. I left my cellular at Trent's house last night so I picked it up today because I can drive now and it's rockin'! I like singing along to ROCK N ROLL.
I hung out with these crazy kids today:


Anyway, Mello and I went to Kiesel Park today and we flew kites. The field we went to hadn't been mowed in 4ever, and it was so pretty. I wish we had a camera. Mello lost her new hairtie so we went to Claire's to buy a new one and James called and we picked him up after that and went to taco bell. <3Will Dodd <3 was there. hahahah yeah right. But we bought food and went to felton little and then hastings and it was really windy and crazy and then i had to take james and mel home and when we were taking james home, mel and i found this papermache dinosaur or whatever it was in the trash so we put it in my trunk. We put it in mel's porch. We're going to paint it tomorrow and name it and give it a home and EVERYTHING. YAy
Now I'm bored and I want to sleep and maybe eat a cookie. Man I downloaded Conor's ABBA and i can't believe he likes ABBA. How FUCKING EMBARRASSING.
there was something in the air that night, the stars were bright
fernando(a) <---that's my middle name
they were shining there for you and me
for liberty

Sincerely,
Viviana.

p.s. There's this boy I like and I don't know if I should tell him?
What should I do?
-TREmbliNg sluT



hahahaha

CARA DE POTO

Today was really cool. I started speaking Spanish out of nowhere. So I continued for an hour or so. God, it was fuun. I had a gringo accent. I really surprised myself. I know a lot. I was thinking about trying to skip Spanish104. My dad will go talk to the principal, and maybe I'll be able to take a test or something. I want to take Spanish106. Conversation and literature is my thaang. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed on this. Hopefully I can do it.
One more month until I get my license. FINALLY. Along with my license, I want an mp3player, a digital camera, and a car. I'll get all that during the summer probably. I don't like wanting. Whateverrrrr.

Last Sunday, I attended the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship uh, church. It was... awesomely fulfilling. Never did we pray or talk about God. Instead, we looked for the good in our lives. It was so homey. I really enjoyed it because it reminded me of when I used to go to church in Millvale! haha. I miss Millvale. That was an awesome town. Millvale days RULED. K, chao chicos.

Happy birthday Emily Hornsby

hey dawgs
hell yeah it's that time of year! All the lovebirds and all of the love-depriven, lonely wannabes get to celebrate their favorite holiday! Awesome!

My plans:
1. School
2. Homework
3. Dinner
4. PARTY
5. Lovekisses
6. computer

come to think of it... last year's valentine's day was off the hizzy. haha i went to melanie's house with trent and i talked to melanie and trent talked to andy. i remember telling melanie that trent gave me flowers and a card. hahah giggles galore! haha anyway, i dont really remember the rest of that, sadly. trent probably put the moves on me or something, and I, being a big old scaredy-cat and kind of freaked out (haha jk), probably rejected his motives. Oh baby! I totally regret that! But it turned all okay, thank God! I'll always remember that day as long as this entry exists. THANK YOU SCIENCES AND TECHNOLOGY OF THE 20th CENTURY, and a little tiny bit of the 21st century, i guess.
My 21st century is and will continue to be full of your love, sweetiepie.